I know it's been awhile since I've blogged, but I just haven't felt the need to. Everything going on in my life is on Facebook; I post everything as its happening...but what I'm blogging about today I don't need everyone on Facebook to know.
A few months ago I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with severe depression. I take a pill every morning but I'm not too sure if it's doing anything or not.
I don't want to be a whiny baby but I can't keep this inside anymore.
I'm tired of crying.
Last night a friend called me to talk..he told me something that really hit me hard. All he said was "You're worth a lot." Or something like that. Normal people don't feel less than worthless. What's wrong with me?
It's not that I cry all the time, there are moments that I'm happy. I just feel completely hopeless. About everything.
My job is going nowhere. My savings is disappearing. I'm never going to get my car back. I can't even afford the gas to get to my job everyday. I have like two real friends. I have no money. I can't see anything to look forward to.
I'm not going to end my life or anything, I'm just forcing myself to live each day.
I've been trying to focus on the little things that make me happy, like my cousins' smiles or my friend giving me a teddy bear, or my mom sending me a package, or my sister helping me out when I know she's barely getting by....
and here I am crying again. It's pathetic and I know it. But I don't know how to fix it.
I've been working on eating healthier and I think it's helping me feel a little better. Brittany helped me grocery shop and now I'm eating sandwiches and salad instead of hamburgers and chicken nuggets.
I'm not sure what this post is about, maybe I'm just clearing my head.
I really appreciate my family and friends who have been helping me and offering help through everything that's going on lately. You're helping me so much more than you could ever know. I think I have to help myself now...
Where to start?
