First ever birthday without my mom. It's weird. I've been moved out for more than two years and I still feel emotionally dependent on my mom.
Today is getting me prepared for some huge changes and I don't think I like that. It hit me last night. I don't get Thanksgiving with my mom. I don't get Christmas with my mom.
Chances are, my mom won't be able to see my engagement ring until the wedding. (No, I'm not engaged...just saying.)
I've been looking forward to this birthday because as of 5:07 this morning...I'm no longer a teenager. I love that, but nothing has really changed.
I still feel like a stupid kid.
My family is starting to move apart..physical distance for some...emotional distance for others.
I am fiercely protective of my family but I'm not willing to be around people who do not add anything positive to my life.
That's a decision I made for myself and for the family I'm going to create with my future husband.
We don't need people in our lives who make me angry, sad or frustrated. Granted, most people will make me feel that way at one point or another, but when that's how I feel every time we interact, something needs to change.
Like I said, that was my decision. I didn't think it would be this hard. It hurts, but I need to do what's best for me.
Today isn't all bad. I had ice cream for breakfast and people brought me donuts and cupcakes at work.
I just am sad.
I miss my mom.
