June 10th

Today sucks. 

Today marks the 15th year of my mom not having her mom. It really sucks not having my Grandma Taylor, but my mom doesn't have her mom. That breaks my heart into a million pieces. My mom is my best friend and I need her. She is so strong. Fifteen years ago a young man decided to drive after drinking and ran a stop sign. That man changed more than one life. He ended one. He changed the lives of my Grandpa and then 11-year old aunt who were in the car during the accident. He changed 8 other living siblings who no longer have their amazing mother to cheer them on. He changed the lives of all of us grandchildren and now great grandchildren. 

I don't have many memories of her but I am blessed to have some. Grandma always made you feel important. Grandma was always happy. She had an infectious laugh and the biggest heart ever. She was teeny tiny and beautiful. My Grandma was reunited with her son that day, I'm glad she got that. But my heart still hurts every time I hear someone complain about their mother. My mom is everything I love in life. My mom has a spectacular mother and she hasn't seen her in 15 years. 

My mom is number one on my frequently dialed numbers. I am one click away from her voice at all times. I can text her when she's in meetings and wear her sweatshirt when I'm sad. She sends me cookies and spends the night with me sometimes. I don't know how I would ever continue without her. A million good vibes being sent your way today Mom. I love you.

Part 2 of Why Today Sucks:

One year ago I met Emmitt. He came into my training class to help us pick schedules and I had no idea how he would end up changing my life. In the best way possible. Last night, we went on a great date. It's my last weekend with my parents' truck so we decided to hit the drive in theater to MIB 3. We took the cushions off both couches, brought a ton of pillows and a few big blankets. We then got pizza and a big giant soda. MIB 3 was amazing, it made me cry. First movie to ever do that. Maybe it's because I'm extra emotional lately, but it was really good. Definitely worth seeing in theaters.

Now to the sucky part. Just after midnight, during the beginning of the Avengers, my tummy started hurting. Emmitt asked if I wanted to go home but I said no because my tummy would still hurt at home. Then I started crying because I really didn't feel good so Emmitt decided that we should go home. The movie was making no sense to us anyway. So we head home and a few minutes after we get back, I threw up.

Not a fun experience. I thought it made me feel better and maybe that was all I needed but then I threw up again. And again. Emmitt was going to go to the gas station for me and during our conversation I threw up all over his carpet. Which made me cry but I still had to throw up more so I made my way to the bathroom. I took a quick shower and when I got out, Emmitt had already finished cleaning the carpet. He made sure I was okay and then left to get me a sprite. At 2 in the morning. He loves me.

While he was gone I just kept thinking about how much I wanted my mom, which made me cry more, because it's June 10th. I was a sad little sight. So I called Kim  because she's always awake. Kim was so nice to me and talked with me until Emmitt got back. I sipped on my sprite and cried some more. I was just confused because I couldn't tell if I was still sick or not, so Emmitt grabbed a bucket, walked me to bed, tucked me in and put the bucket within reaching distance. He even kissed me goodnight, on the lips! I love him so much. I slept for about an hour before feeling sick again. So I used the internet to pretend diagnose myself. I still have no idea what's wrong but now cancer and fallopian tube pregnancy are in the running. Thanks internet.

That's when I ended up here. At some point Emmitt will wake up and even if I'm still sick, he'll take care of me. He does that so well...maybe today won't be so sucky after all. :)