9 Months!!

That's right! Emmitt and I have now been together for 9 months, and they have been heavenly.

For those of you who watch The Office, Emmitt is my soupsnake. For those of you who don't, he is my soul mate:)

A little more about him: Emmitt is currently a floor lead at Convergys, which is where we met. Floor lead used to mean something different but now, it's pretty much everything. When someone doesn't know who to go to when something needs to get done, they go to Emmitt.

He is a brilliant man, like super brilliant. He knows everything about rocks and is willing to teach you anything you'd like to know. He loves his family and outer space and fishing. Oh he loves fishing. He would fish 24/7 if he could. There are times when we go fishing after work, then eat dinner and he's ready to fish again. I now have a fishing pole, vest and license. It's a hobby I enjoy doing with him...just not as often as he likes.

We still go to his parents' house every week for dinner and I still love it. His sister is now in Florida but the rest of the family gets together every Sunday. I have loved getting to know his family and I feel like they're my family. His nieces are great, we dance and play games together.

We've gone on two family trips, one was down to St. George for Easter. We went on hikes, hid easter eggs, and of course, fished. That trip was for 4 days and it was so much fun. The second trip was last weekend and it was a super quick one. We went down to Cedar City Saturday for the solar eclipse on Sunday. We took back roads down and found some fun little places on the way. Sunday we went to New Castle to see the eclipse. We ended up watching from the graveyard where Emmitt's grandma is buried. It was weird to see him name on a tombstone.

We had to make the trip back that night because I started my job on Monday, but it was insanely worth it. The eclipse was truly magnificent and I will never forget it. We saw the full ring of fire and you can see pictures on Emmitt's or his mom's facebook.

Anyway, Emmitt is perfectly spectacular and I am so lucky he found me. He has made me myself and I'm looking forward to every minute of my life spent with him. He has actually asked me to move in with his when my lease is up, so I'll be moving in with him at the end of June. I am very excited and have no doubts. He is my forever and things couldn't feel more right. <3

UPS

I quit my job at Convergys at the beginning of March. I decided that I wouldn't look for a job until after our spring break trip to St. George. I had enough in savings so I was sure I could make it a month without any income. 

Well, I ended up staying unemployed for two and a half months but then a job found me! I was sleeping and some people called me to offer me a job at UPS. UPS does not hire anyone directly, they use staffing agencies and then after a few months they offer jobs to the employees who they want.

I just finished my first week of training and I love it. It's full time, which is different for me, but I'm really enjoying my time there. We've had time to listen to agents out on the floor and I'm confident that I will be working for UPS directly soon. 

We take tests at the end of everyday to make sure we're retaining information. They give us between 30 and 60 minutes to take these tests. I have finished every test in under five minutes and either got 100% or only missed one. In other words, I rock.

I will update my blog more and let you know how the job is going. Also, another post is already scheduled for tomorrow!

Three Months:)

My boyfriend is very kind to me. He cooks for me, he speaks to my heart when I am sad  and brings me on great dates.

Some of my favorite dates were things like the aquarium, looking at pet stores and going to an arcade. We have won unicorn flags and toy dinosaurs. We have hiked to waterfalls and played with baby turtles. We make pies and go grocery shopping.

He is great. He lets me be myself and I never have to worry about him getting mad at me. We are an amazing match and I think we keep each other on our toes. 

Every Sunday we have dinner with his parents and today is our 3 month anniversary so we celebrated last night. 

We had an indoor picnic. First we moved some furniture and spread out a Utes blanket. He brought out a picnic-like basket and set two wine glasses on top. The lights were off and the glow of the Christmas tree was behind him....we had two cinnamon candles so we could see each other. We drank our sparkling white grape juice and ate our hot dogs and cheeto puffs. 

(Another thing I like about him, he goes along with whatever I'm in the mood for...including hot dogs and cheetos for a romantic dinner)

After we ate and drank we exchanged gifts. He gave me the flower nose rings that I've had my eye on for awhile. It was the most romantic date I've ever been on:)

I have the best boyfriend ever. Here's to another three months!

I don't know.

Those three words have helped me out a lot.

Ever since I moved out, I've been struggling. Emotionally. As previously mentioned, I have depression. It's not that I'm super sad, it is just being overwhelmed with emotion. My doctor explained it to me by letting me know that normal bodies regularly produce seratonin. I don't know how to spell it but that is what makes you feel emotions. My body produces way too much and overloads me with emotion. For no reason. So I'm on some pills that regulate my seratonin intake.

Going on...I'm emotionally exhausted. I'm taking my pills but I'm a woman, so I am still very emotional. I cry way too much, especially when I have to talk about my feelings. I'm dating a man who is very good for me and has me express myself instead of stuffing everything inside. I appreciate him greatly.

As hard as it is, I'm glad that I'm learning to share my emotions.

Going along with the blog title, I thought I should share what I've learned. Being on my own is a lot harder than I thought. It's not that I didn't think for myself when I was living with my parents, but I have to think through everything alone now. I don't have anything planned out for me, everything is my decision.

I don't always make the best decisions but I'm trying. I actually like myself for the first time in a very long time so I'd like to think I'm doing alright.

There are some things I have not decided yet. And when people ask me about those things, I've learned that I'm allowed to say, "I don't know."

It's okay to not know everything...and it's okay to be me.

Ups and Downs

Life is much different out on your own. I know I've been on my own for more than a year now, but it hasn't hit me until this summer.

Living with Tara, I didn't have many responsibilities. It was much like living at home. I only had one bill, I lived with my boys and my aunt and uncle.

Ever since I was 15, my goal has been to get back to this neighborhood. Well, I'm back and more confused than ever.

I'm walking blindly through a forest called life and it's getting very overwhelming.

Bills suck.

Boys suck.

Like I said on facebook...I wish I could fast forward my life to where I know what I'm doing and I'm settled down.

I know I've always been against marriage but I think I've changed my mind. I want someone who will take care of me. I want someone I can take care of. I want to cook dinner for my husband and I want to be a stay at home mom.

There are good things in my life.

I have a few awesome friends. I've been cutting people out because I'm tired of people who make me feel like I'm not worth anything. So I'm happy with who I have right now. I've surrounded myself with people who love me and treat me like I matter.

I have an amazing family who is always there for me. My sisters rock. My parents rock. My extended family rocks.

I don't know what's going on in my head anymore....

I'm Coming Home

That's right! I'm moving back to Taylorsville!!!

All of me is jumping for joy right now:)

I've been waiting for this day since...well since the day I left. I have lived in about a bajillion places, and for some reason, Taylorsville is my home. Would you like to know why? It's this little thing called: The Bennion 19th Ward.

They are the greatest group of people in the whole world and I mean that. There are fantastic people everywhere I've lived but I'm telling you, Bennion 19th Ward...they have my heart and they will forever.

It feels unreal that I'm actually going back there. I've been so jealous of Kim for making it back...and now I get to go back. With both of my big sisters:)

Life is good.